Sunday, April 27, 2008

Still one of the funniest radio skits ever

I love Bill Murray

God I miss this man!


Is it that hard to find home decor for the Cubs for my new place? All I'm asking for is a Cubs shower curtain and there isn't one anywhere online! Just crazy. Oh yeah, I'm moving. Going for somewhat of a clean start across the river. I'm just tired, I feel like I need a break from all of the drama that I've embroiled myself in on the Illinois side of the Mississippi without moving too far away from my daughter. I've got some bad gris gris from some women over here, at least that is how it feels. Anyway, wish me luck and let me know if you know where I can get some stuff for the apartment. Housewarming party will be announced ASAP!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Uh, I quit

I can't believe that I'm in this situation again. I just am sooooo done with relationshits...again. I'm sorry that its been so long between posts. I'll keep y'all updated as best as possible through the move. I love y'all, I just need to learn to love myself...again.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Need to be Loved

What in god's name makes me need to be loved? Is it because of my sense of abandonment from my dad? Is it the stupid life that I've led? Is it the fact that the only two real father figures I've ever really looked up to died when I was a) 13 or b) last year? Is it because I look at the train wreck of a family that I come from makes me NEED to be better than that? Is it because I want to meet someone who makes me care about them past the first or second orgasm? Is it because I want some one to actually love me for all of the imperfections that make up my personality? Or is it simply, just because I'm human?

I don't even care if anyone reads this one. I have once again entangled myself in a relationshit that has no easy answer. I could easily walk away, but my daughter absolutely loves her. At the same time, when your 5 year old says that she knows that "Daddy is sad when he sleeps alone", what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm just so dead inside...I'm SO glad I learned how to shut off the hurt when I was very young. Otherwise, I'd be a freaking wreck, thanks Mom and Dad for teaching me that no matter how bad my pain is, if I swallow it and focus it onto something I want to do, I can achieve anything!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Whenever life gets me down...

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

Friday, April 18, 2008

Gotta love the last month of the semester

When all the stress and due dates and everything starts to pile up. Factor into that personal frustration and work stress, and I'm about ready to strangle someone these days. I"m taking Grace on a date tonight to try and de-stress a bit. I'm still somewhat exhausted from a awesome trip to Louisiana for Justin's wedding, but then promptly took almost two days to get home and bombed two tests. Now I have to take all of my finals instead of getting out of any of them like I wanted to. Oh, and the situation around my house is still a train wreck. UGH!

Monday, April 7, 2008

I'm so tired

I remember this feeling too well. Sleepless nights, an uncomfortable air in the house, and stress from all sides. Exhaustion and a restlessness has set in and I've vowed to not use booze as a crutch this time. I'm debating that decision daily. I need a distraction, thank goodness baseball and softball season is here.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

As usual, at many points of uncertainty in my life, I turn to The Clash

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I stay or should I go?

Always tease tease tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day is fine, next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on and let me know
Should I Stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An' if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecision's bugging me
If you don't want me, set me free
Exactly who'm I'm supposed to be
Don't you know which clothes even fit me?
Come on and let me know
Should I cool it or should I blow?

Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?