Monday, March 31, 2008

The Midwest...and some venting about parenting

The midwest is a strange place. I never know what to expect from the people up here. Its like living in a different country from what I grew up in. For the most part, the people look at you weird when you talk to them, they never want you to help them with anything, and they just stress out about way too much. Its hard to have a good time when you're worried about your hair and clothes, and car, and house, and friends, and whatever. Calm down people. You need a lesson in how to relax. Laissez les bon temps roulet! Stop stressing out about everything. In the long run, 95% of the crap you're doing is really gonna matter in a year...and less past that. Sometimes you just need to act like you're a kid again. It keeps you young. Growing up is no fun, believe me, I've fought it for years. The only reason I've even attempted to or pretended to is for my daughter.

Now, when I say relax and have fun, that doesn't mean you have to drink every night, sleep with everyone, or do anything that your parents would be ashamed of in the future. Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Brittney Spears, Jamie Lynne Spears, and Lindsey Lohan are not good role models. If you want a role model, look at a woman who's actually accomplished something. Look at someone like Oprah, Gov. Ann Richards, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Sen. Hillary Clinton, and yes, even Geraldine Ferraro. Sure, they're not party animals, they might not even be any of the richest women (except Oprah), but they're great role models. If you're looking to teach your daughter to be responsible, and independent, look to these women. I hope that my daughter will eventually grow into a strong, independent woman. In order to accomplish this goal, my ex-wife and I will hopefully continue to work together to make her that way. She is our legacy, and she is my pride and joy. Everything I do in this world is for her, and that will continue for the rest of my life. I realized a long time ago that my happiness will be secondary to hers for the rest of my life. I don't say that to be a martyr or to say I'm better than anyone else, I just love my kid, and the way to show that is to be a father. I miss her every day I don't see her and I cherish every moment I can be with her. No child is perfect, and my daughter has her behavioral and other problems. As long as she can grow up to be happy and successful, I'll be happy, but she has a long way to go, but so do I, so who am I to judge...besides her father.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sorry for my absence

I've had a whole mess, key word being mess, of personal problems lately. I won't go into any here, but I do want to thank everyone who has listen to me whine, offered advice, and generally acted like my friend over the last few weeks.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

We Did It! 4,000!

4,000 dead in Iraq! Congratulations everyone! I wonder who'll do the acceptance speech? Maybe we'll get If this, combined with the 5 year anniversary, can't push the war back to the front of news broadcasts and front pages, then I'm officially disgusted.

Its 3am

At this time of morning 5 years or so ago, if I were actually on a computer, I was either drunk, looking for some free porn, or both. Instead tonight, I'm taking a break from writing a paper and updating my blog. In the process of my work, I channel surf a bit, mainly from the History Channel, to ESPN, to Comedy Central, to MSNBC. Tonight, I stayed on Comedy Central past the dreaded 3am mark, when the infomercials start. Now, I might be one of the oldest people in the world to watch Comedy Central, since I am actually disgusted by the Girls Gone Wild commercials. I mean, seriously, who buys those things? I know a friend who did once, but it was Bickle, and he was/is dumb. Besides, that was like 8 years ago.

I actually feel dirty, just seeing the commercials. I don't feel sorry for these vapid, sperm dumpster girls who claim to be taken advantage of later on when there parents see them, I just feel dirty.

On top of that, who actually believes that a pill can make your penis bigger? Or wants to text message a "hot" girl who doesn't really exist? Also, for the love of god, do we need the constant barrage of advertisement for Viagra and Cialis and every other pill that will give me a hard-on years after my heart cannot fully support the extra blood flow? I actually long for the days of USA Network's "Up All Night" series, with its constant advertising for phone sex lines. At least there was some honesty there, you knew you weren't getting the real dirty ones like you found inside your uncle's pornos (not that I ever found or called any).

I may sound like a prude right now, but honestly, I think this comes from our obsession that sex is dirty and shameful rather than an overabundance of it out there. That's just my opinion, though, I could be wrong.

Update: I landed on G4, watched Cinematech: Nocturnal Emissions for about ten minutes and have concluded that the Japanese are very strange people (who make AMAZING game shows). I've never seen so many schoolgirl outfits in a video game trailer.


Here's what Bush, Cheney, and thus, ergo McCain think about what you think:

5 years of a war they said would last for 6 months, so we start to become frustrated and demand a change, we elected them, they'll listen....right? Think again.
By the way, I have a full-blown (non-gay...not that there's anything wrong with it) man crush on Jon Stewart, and I am not ashamed to admit it.

Once again, our government fails to live up to the standards we are required to live up to...

Are you serious? No one else in this country could get away with this!


The Washington Post
Saturday, March 22, 2008; Page A02

White House Says It Destroyed Hard Drives

Older White House computer hard drives have been destroyed, the White House told a federal court yesterday, and some, but not necessarily all, of the data on those hard drives was moved to new ones.

The White House revealed the information about how it handles its computers in an effort to convince a federal magistrate that it would be fruitless to undertake a plan proposed by the court to recover millions of possibly missing e-mails from 2003 to 2005.

It would be costly and time-consuming for the White House to institute an e-mail retrieval program that entails pulling data off each individual workstation, the White House said in a sworn declaration filed with U.S. Magistrate Judge John Facciola.

Now, for anyone who does not realize what this article is saying, basically the Bush White House has once again thumbed its collective nose at us for demanding to know just what the hell is going on up there. If a private company did something like this, there would be fines, jailtime, and attention-whoring congressional inquiries. Since the government was the perpetrator, it is instead "oops, my bad".

Why in the hell do we keep giving our government a free pass? We pass laws to require more truthful accounting, and yet the government has some of the shadiest accounting practices around. We hear people going off on "irresponsible" consumers, yet our government is running up debt like it is going out of style (and without much accountability, I might add). Our government has decided it is cool to invade our privacy at will, and yet has itself become less and less transparent.

Government should be held to a higher standard, not a considerably lower one.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


I've been waiting for years to have something like this to observe. This is the best speech since the 60's and I'm proud to say I'm voting for this dynamic a candidate. I've heard he wrote the whole thing, if so, bravo sir, bravo!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

For the love of Yahweh

I AM (capitalized for dramatic effect) Monty in "Waiting". I feel so dirty....but it is true.

Holy Hell, maybe Obama reads my blog!

Chicago Tribune: Obama Satisfied All Doubts About Rezko - Politics on The Huffington Post

In politics, for all you newcomers, this never happens, just so you know. I'm shocked, color me speechless.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Have we forgotten there's a war?

Folks we are one week away from being involved in the war in Iraq for five years. Five years? A war that no one (save for some cabal in D.C.) honestly knows why we even went.

If anyone actually remembers, "Mission Accomplished" was May 1, 2003. The United States was militarily involved in World War II for 1,347 days, we reached that mark on November 26, 2006. The United States Civil War lasted for 1,458 days, we passed that almost a year ago. Currently, we stand at 1,832 days since the invasion of Iraq. United States Military fatalities today stand at 3,987 (13 are unconfirmed by the Department of Defense), UK fatalities stand at 175, and the other members of the Coalition of the Willing have incurred 133 fatalities for a total of 4,295 fatalities. In addition, the United States has incurred 28,838 wounded for a grand total of 32,825 United States casualties.

Meanwhile, we have an election going on where the Republican candidate is proposing staying in Iraq for 100 years if necessary and talking, nay SINGING, about bombing Iran. Now fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. In the meantime, the only Presidential candidate who did not vote for this foolish waste of life is too busy fighting off the mudslinging of a fellow Democrat to campaign against another term of the Republican chickenhawks. We need to open our eyes. Look at the numbers compared to other wars. Sure, the casualty counts are much lower than other wars, but make the comparison of our level of involvement and advances in body armor and medical care. When those factors are taken into comparison, this is easily the most costly war we've ever been involved in.

Yesterday, the Pew Research Center has released the results of a study which states that only 28% of American Adults correctly stated that approximately 4,000 U.S. troops have died in the war, down from 54% in August of 2007. The study ties directly to the declining media coverage of the war since last summer:

As news coverage of the war has diminished, so too has public interest in news about Iraq. According to Pew's News Interest Index survey, Iraq was the public's most closely followed news story in all but five weeks during the first half of 2007; however, it was a much less dominant story between July 2007 and February 2008. Notably, the Iraq war has not been the public's top weekly story since mid-October.

In case you can't zoom into the graph on the left enough, that's around 3% of the news devoted to war coverage. Sure, this clearly shows the "liberal bias" in the media. And Obama is lucky to be black, just like I'm lucky to be a single dad. Get a clue, just get the right clue and wake up America, don't get caught up in the Brittney's, Paris's and Lindsey's, remember what is important. Support the demanding that they come home and get out of harm's way.

On top of all this, the Pentagon today canceled the release of a study that found NO link existed between Saddam Hussein and al Qaida. Apparently, the report will be mailed to reporters...if they request it, and will not be posted on the Internet.

Ever Feel Unappreciated?

Me too.

Olbermann Special Comment

Enough said.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ahh springtime

The time of year when the temperature rises to a comfortable range (around 60 degrees), Spring Training starts for baseball, Grace and I get to go outside and play catch, and the always lovely citizens of the city of Collinsville, IL drag their living room furniture out into the yard to enjoy the weather. Yes, that's right, living room furniture such as sofas, loveseats, and recliners. Sometimes, I shudder when I think of the fact that my quasi-family lives here.

On another note, Grace just keeps getting better at baseball, unfortuately, she still has another year before she can start playing on a team. Here's a video from last summer, she's even better than this now:

Wow, this election thing is the gift that keeps on giving

So apparently Geraldine Ferraro is not only unrepentant about claiming that Obama only does so well because he is black, then went on the back on the attack claiming Obama's campaign is attacking her because she is white, but to top it all off, she has made similar claims/smears against opponents in the past. Finally, she steps down from Hillary campaign this afternoon.

In additional news, there is a new phenomenon known as the "Limbaugh Effect". Apparently, his rotundness, in his oxycontin induced wisdom, has instructed his sheep to drop their Republican registration in remaining Primaries, and vote for Hillary. Apparently, Hillary is a preferable opponent for McCain over Obama.

You may ask yourself how these two items could be related? Somewhat significantly actually, anyone who is a fan of the NFL remembers Limbaugh's (unfortunate?) tryst into the sports world. It, of course, ended in Limbaugh resigning for racist comments he made about Donovan McNabb, quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles. Ferraro is basically saying the same things about Obama. Let's compare the statements side by side:

"If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept." --Geraldine Ferraro, 3/10/08

"I don't think he's been that good from the get-go. I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. I think the media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They're interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well. I think there's a little hope invested in McNabb and he got a lot of credit for the performance of his team that he really didn't deserve. The defense carried this team." --Rush Limbaugh, 9/28/03

Now, barring any ignorance to American Football, these are virtually the same statement. They're only special because they're black, I disagree on both counts. Obama is an exceptional candidate and McNabb is an exceptional quarterback. To try and discount their contributions by trivializing them due to race is racism, pure and simple. Although I felt as though I have made my point adequately, to reinforce my argument, I fall back upon one of the inspirations behind my political activism; Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

The Real #1 Issue for Voters in 2008

Isn't this the main issue every time a politics enters a conversation?

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

The P.I.R.

What's sad is, my friends and I talked about doing this a long time ago.

Glad to see that it wouldn't have worked. I don't miss being a stoner whatsoever.

More from "The State"

More from The State, easily the favorite sketch comedy of my group of friends. For anyone who never heard of The State, it consisted of Thomas Lennon, Michael Ian Black, Ben Garant, Michael Patrick Jann, Kerri Kenney, Kevin Allison, Joe Lo Truglio, Ken Marino, Michael Showalter, and David Wain. The show ran on MTV from 1993 to 1995 and was very influential on our collective senses of humor in High School. The members have been involved in projects such as: Reno 911!, Stella, Balls of Fury, Wedding Daze, The Ten, among many others that they wrote or co-starred in.

Supposedly, there is a DVD of the entire series which is finally complete, but MTV has pushed back the release date to an undisclosed time. When it does come out, I'm all over that like a fat kid on a cupcake.

I miss "The State"

Possibly the greatest sketch comedy show of all time, home to classics such as this:

I miss that show so much.

The House of Representatives approve an independent ethics office

Talk about trying to polish a turd (to quote one of my late grandfather's favorite sayings). House Democrats got a measure through a virtual stonewall of Republican opposition to create an outside panel to review POSSIBLE (yes, you read that right, possible) ethical lapses by its members.

The new Office of Congressional Ethics will be in charge of reviewing cases and then referring them to the House Ethics Committee, the most ineffective and corrupt committee on Capitol Hill (which is saying a lot). The Office of Congressional Ethics will be made up of six people appointed by the Speaker of the House and the Minority Leader, who cannot be current members, federal employees or lobbyists.

"The public really does not trust us on ethics issues at this point,"
said Rep. Michael Capuano, D-Mass., who headed the task force that
proposed the new independent entity. "They think we are all here
protecting each other." No offense to Rep. Capuano, but DUH!

Now, the story to me here is the opposition by the Republicans. A vote of 229-182 followed what might actually be an actual stride forward in Congress. Not all Republicans opposed this idea, but at least 182 did. Now, in lieu of the last say, two years worth of scandals, I can completely see why we don't need this in our eyes: Rep. Mark Foley, Rep. Tom DeLay, Rep. Dennis Hastert, and Rep. William Jefferson, to name a few, in the last year or so...JUST IN THE HOUSE! That's not even Congress as a whole! The Senate is just as bad, if not worse.

So I say "shame on you Republican Representatives"! What arrogance, how dare we demand politicians to live by the same ethics we are expected to conduct ourselves with everyday?

In other news, I am considering encouraging all of my friends to change their middle name to Hussein. Its not being received very well, but:

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

What? Hazing Still Occurs on College Campuses?

Hazing still widespread at colleges, survey finds

Sports teams, fraternities, and sororities are listed as the most areas with the most widespread instances of hazing. My favorite part? Most victims and offenders are aware of the anti-hazing rules and still don't believe their behavior is hazing, retards. I really thought sensitivity training and good intentions would take care of that! Man, where do these spoiled kids today get their ideas for this sadomasochistic behavior? Maybe movies, television, newspapers, the internet, their parents, the government? Who knows, really?

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Are you Patriotic? Apparently I'm

I'm so tired of the trend in this country of being labeled unAmerican or unpatriotic if you have the nerve to question the status quo. I've been called a Communist(untrue), a Democrat(more true), a Populist(even truer), and a Socialist(probably most true). Yet, I am unequivocally AN American. Patriotism is not the blind worship of a symbol of this country, nor is it playing Big Brother by resorting to McCarthy's tactics from the cold war (accusing anyone who disagreed with him of being a Communist). McCarthy did find a couple of Communists, but he ruined many other lives in the process (most notably J. Robert Oppenheimer, Director of the Manhattan Project, for attending a Communist Party house meeting with his brother, and then declining to join).

So, on to my point, almost everyone has seen this e-mail, or this one, or this one, or maybe this one, or finally, my personal favorite, maybe this one; all of this begs the question, why? Is different that threatening? Is this just flat-out racism? Is he some Manchurian Candidate? OH MY SWEET FELLOW AMERICANS, WAKE UP!!! George Washington never said the Pledge of Allegiance and wasn't born in America: what was he hiding? (thanks to Keith Olbermann)

There might be a few other viable questions that should be posed to our Presidential Candidates out there:

Sen. Obama, what are your ties to Tony Rezko? Sen. Clinton, why have you still not turned over your tax records? Sen. McCain, why have your views changed so much since your last Presidential Election, oops I mean since last August? What can any of these candidates do to bridge the hyper-partisan attitude of politics these days? What can we do to diminish the influence of special interests in Government? What is your actual plan for immigration, because deporting 12 million illegal aliens is logistically (and economically) impossible? How will you heal the horrible world image this country has and deal with the hostile attitude that the Middle East has towards our supposed "War on Terror (Islam)"? How will you make our economy and currency viable again? What can we do to cut our dependence on ALL fossil fuels (oil and the new/old clean fuel, coal)? What can we do to reduce our waste and pollution? What will you do to protect the rights of workers in this country? How will you improve our education system and finally give primary and secondary school teachers a salary that reflects the importance of their job? How will you re-instate the civil rights which have been stripped away in the last 8 years? How will you make it possible for average working people to go to a doctor and not declare bankruptcy? know, off the top of my head.

Instead, we see this stuff as an issue...I'm disgusted.

The article they're referring to is here.

So I'm frustrated with the supposed liberal bias in the media. Now completely unrelated, yet I am finding completely hilarious:

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

I stumbled on a quote not too long ago that scared me to no end. It could've been made in the last decade, but it was made in the 30's. Especially considering the source, this is too strange.

Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.

The source of this quote; Hermann Göering, Commander-in-Chief of Nazi Germany's Luftwaffe. Could've been made by any of Bush's lackeys since 9-11, if they were honest.
Scary stuff eh kids?

Monday, March 3, 2008

Even with a hybrid, it costs me around $35 to fill up, so I ,understandably along with many others, try to conserve fuel in anyway possible. That is why, in these times of $3+ gas prices, it always amazes me when I see the bemulletted heathens repeatedly drive their Camaros at breakneck speeds around the corner right in front of my house. I'm afraid to run the A/C in my car to conserve gas, whereas I get to listen to their gloriously loud exhausts and watch their horrible paint jobs streak by my house. I thought when I left Mississippi after that horrible year I lived there in high school, I would never have to put up with these NASCAR wannabe's again. Sadly, I was wrong. As I see streaks of multicolored fenders and primer and hear the lack of a muffler, I am reminded of the Mississippi Gulf Coast, in all of its red state glory. By the way, our President (who claims we are not in a recession, sounds suspiciously like something I remember his dad saying his last year in office), has absolutely no clue how much average people are paying for gas every day in this country.

In other news, an 8th grader was shot in the head for giving a fellow student a Valentine. By the way, he was gay and he gave the Valentine to a male classmate. Ellen DeGeneres made an emotional statement pleading for Americans to change how they react and treat homosexuals.
I agree so much, I posted it here:

What is going on with teenagers right now? Maybe, just maybe, we should limit their access to guns? I shudder to think how many guns are on my street alone (What? With all the mullets and trashy yards, are you kidding?). I'm sure they could arm their local clan rally pretty easily. Driving down my street just scares the living hell out of me, not only am I dodging Days of Thunder half the damn time, but then I see stuff like this: